time… goes by
people… come and go
we are living in a motion.
we are breathing the same air.
yet, our hearts and minds are all different.
i have no control over the things that are happening to me everyday.
life can be simplify can be complex.
we have the choices.
some say,
“the past have stop a, b, c and d.”
some say,
“i am just over it. no more!”
some say,
“you have done e, f, g, h, i and j! wrong, so wrong!”
so many sayings.
so many thoughts.
or all those “i feel,” “i think,” “i, me, and myself”
overall it comes down to,
is it about you or about others?
our world have became so small,
its just us. therefore, all we think, its ourselves
then we began to blame others
because of our own self center, selfishiness
and wonder why life is so hard
wonder why world is so bad
i say,
“no matter what you say, i will control over my own thoughts,”
i say,
“i know i have many problems, but no longer you take any parts of ‘sayings’ because you don’t even value the parts i have improved”
i say,
“if i can, i wish i can feel what everyone is feeling and make everyone happy. but, i can’t. therefore i am trying my best to balance this middle ground.”
i was wash away by so many voices, confusion and problems
and i realized
my world is so small
because i am only feeling how i feel
but not what God is feeling.
You alone are my Justice.
I have nothing more to say.
Every tear, heartache, thought and the time of silent.
You hear more clear than any other man in this world.
it can be all taken away
i am still in this fire
and i will believe in Your faithfulness
i am foolish
i am immature
i am not perfect
yet,
You believe in me over and over.
yet,
You want me.
yet,
You never give up.
yet,
You love me for reals.
my heart currently don’t believe in “i love you” from other human beings besides my parents and those who fight to stay with me.
but God You told me You will prove to me that in my life,
there will be a day
when You gather Your true lovers together
then You will show me how far love can go
how deep it can be build upon
no more lies
no more covers
no more selfishness
no more excuses
but pure love
even when we are broken
because we have You
therefore we are able to always choose love
for You alone have shown us what love looks like
not how we feel
not how we have been wrong
not how we can’t handle
not how we are lack
but that cross
with so much pain, blood, tears and prayers
being mistreated, made fun of, curse, misunderstood and hated.
yet You stayed firm.
for You know, it will be done.
You look at the bigger pictures and believe in a greater result than just the costs at the moment.
i desire to be like You.
while i am in the process
show me Your ways.
i will pray for those
who don’t believe in me anymore
who doesn’t want to be near me
who think i have wrong them so much
or those who just hate me
and keep hurting me with their “thoughts”
its ok
i am not gonna prove to you
but God will.
